A Conspiracy to Rob Retirees

There is a conspiracy to rob retirees of a decent predictable income stream. The Bavarian Illuminati, the House of Rothschild, the Rockefeller Foundation and the Skull and Bones Club have subverted Congress and have sneaked through hidden legislation which funnels money to Wall St. wizards, money that should be going to Joe Sixpack’s retirement account.

Yeah right!

Actually, there is a conspiracy, and it benefits Wall St. wizards, but it isn’t bankers behind it. It’s tightwad banking customers who want fee-free checking accounts and below market home mortgages. Congress, as the will of this truly massive conspiracy, have funneled trillions of tax dollars, and create the Federal Reserve system in order to comply. Were it not for this conspiracy, banks would need patient money to make mortgage loans. Mortgages would be more expensive, but the economy would be stable. And Joe Sixpack could get a good retirement income from simple bank CDs.

So, are you part of the conspiracy? If so, what is the secret handshake anyway?